Thursday, April 30, 2009

I GAVE UP PORK - NOW I WON'T GET SWINE FLU

If they would just turn over running the world to us retired people – we could get all problems solved in five working days or less.

Why today I have already solved three major problems –and if the government would implement my solutions it could get back on track to get our financial mess straightened out.

First – what to do with all these war criminals we are releasing at Gitmo – well that is getting to be a big problem.

Big enough that our attorney general, Erik the Dodger, is over in Berlin begging European natioins to take in some of the a-rabs so we don’t have to put them up in hotels.

This problem is easy to solve.

Navy Seals,

In the recent Pirate Fiasco the Seals showed their merit as snipers.

So, put about 10 – 12 teams of Seals around the exits of Guantanamo and let them pick off the terrorists as they emerge.

This will minimize cost thereby helping our financial crisis – and it will decrease global warming thereby helping green up the planet.

Next I have one solution that WILL solve three problems –AlQaeda and Bin Laden in Afghanistan, nuclear arms in Iran and the swine flu here.

Round up all our pigs and bovine and swine and deport half to Afghanistan and half to Iran.

Bin Laden and the terrorists will flee Afghanistan

Iranians will abandon their nuclear projects to flee to a swine-free zone

And with no more swine here – no more swine flu.

Next problem?

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

IF TORTUREIS IMMORAL BAN THE BOMBER

Today we are celebrating the 100th day of the reign of his imperial highness, BHO, aka The Bomber.

Why, then, does it seem like we have been plagued by this jackal for the past 100 years?

Even the inept Jimmy Carter was unable to achieve the level of incompetence The Bomber and his hand picked team of aides has achieved in just over three months.

Latest escapades of The Bomber and his merry henchmen was the great New York City flyover yesterday – henceforth to be known as FOOL (Fueling Our Own Lusts).

Seems as though the White House KNEW that this would likely cause chaos and fear in New York.

CBS-TV 2 HD in New York has obtained FAA documents showing that the Feds threatened the New York Police Dept., the mayor’s office. The FBI and the Secret Service if the secret of this flyover was leaked.

The Bomber is also pouring gasoline on the fires that are burning from the Swine Flu Epidemic.

Reports from Mexico are saying 150 plus are dead from the flu.

The World Health Organization, which monitors such things, say there had only been SEVEN CONFIRMED FLU DEATHS before the baby in Houston died today.

In fact, the WHO says there are less than 150 CONFIRMED cases of swine flu in all of Mexico.

Yet we have The Bomber and his aids out adding to the panic and threatening to close off borders and all sorts of things.

Add to these the fact that the failing economy The Bomber inherited from Bush is now such a shambles it may never be fixed and it looks like we only have one thing to really celebrate today.

Arlan Spectacle is now a Democrat and will never again be able to disgrace the Republican Party.

Obamanation – when you really and truly have had enough.