I GAVE UP PORK - NOW I WON'T GET SWINE FLU

If they would just turn over running the world to us retired people – we could get all problems solved in five working days or less.

Why today I have already solved three major problems –and if the government would implement my solutions it could get back on track to get our financial mess straightened out.

First – what to do with all these war criminals we are releasing at Gitmo – well that is getting to be a big problem.

Big enough that our attorney general, Erik the Dodger, is over in Berlin begging European natioins to take in some of the a-rabs so we don’t have to put them up in hotels.

This problem is easy to solve.

Navy Seals,

In the recent Pirate Fiasco the Seals showed their merit as snipers.

So, put about 10 – 12 teams of Seals around the exits of Guantanamo and let them pick off the terrorists as they emerge.

This will minimize cost thereby helping our financial crisis – and it will decrease global warming thereby helping green up the planet.

Next I have one solution that WILL solve three problems –AlQaeda and Bin Laden in Afghanistan, nuclear arms in Iran and the swine flu here.

Round up all our pigs and bovine and swine and deport half to Afghanistan and half to Iran.

Bin Laden and the terrorists will flee Afghanistan

Iranians will abandon their nuclear projects to flee to a swine-free zone

And with no more swine here – no more swine flu.

Next problem?